Here is a great example of what I was talking about last week with Bones and lids.

Lilly and Bones were taking advantage of the closet door being left open.


When I tried to get a better picture, Bones saw the lens cap and it was all over.


Here are some tulips that BIL and his wife sent me just because! They are so thoughtful! The tulips are really brightening up my bar area and they smell great!


DH's grandmother sent me a fig tree this week. I planted it yesterday. I am really looking forward to fresh figs!! I'd take a picture of it but it just looks like a stick in the ground. You can use your imaginations for that.

Yesterday after work (yes I worked for a few hours on Saturday) I went to Basket Market (Hobby Lobby wholesale)(totally freakin awesome store) and found some mini trellises for $2 each. Here is the Hoya chlorantha on the green trellis with the others anxiously awaiting their own plants.


It is nice today. The plants are outside:




This is Chamaedorea elegans in flower. Its a girl!


Well, we got busy at work this week, hence the working yesterday. I still don't have the plant shelves done. Hopefully that will happen today. We need to go to Sam;s and then we have a couples massage workshop at 3:00. That should be nice. It would be really awesome if DH could work out the knots I get in my back all the time. The monthly massages are great but I need help in between them too. He tries to help me now but he just doesn't have the technique. On Friday I cramped up really bad and my friend/massage therapist/coworker worked it out a little but I'm still very sore and knotted up. It's so wierd: I feel a specific twinge and then the cramp flares through my whole back, making it painful to breathe or move. It sucks. Tylenol3 and the muscle relaxer and 12 hours of sleep help a lot but I still hurt some.

Yesterday after I worked a little I went to Basket Market like I mentioned earlier, and then I went to Garden Ridge. I was looking at/for ideas for my house and garden and also for the flowerbeds at work. Then I came home and had a great nap. After that I went to Lowe's and Hobby Lobby and Home Depot and WalMart. I needed to buy seeds for work but I kept thinking I'd be able to find everything I needed at WalMart so I didn't purchase anything. Well, Walmart didn't have everything I wanted so now I have to go back to Lowes to get more seeds. That's ok though. I like Lowes! At WalMart I got big zinnias in red and white, blue salvia, and red impatiens.

The bosses have pretty much given me free reign over the beds. Every time I ask about an idea I have they just say, "Go for it!" They don't even seem that interested in hearing the whole idea. They seemed impressed with my willingness to start seeds for them to save them money. I won't be able to start seeds for everything I want but it will help.

The first white crocus is about to bloom at work. That is exciting. I'd like to get some of the new red Helleborus. I think that would look really nice in the beds. The hardest part is finding blue things. I want to get a big tall planter and paint it 280 Blue and put red and white flowering things in it. And also a small evergreen for height. I have the perfect spot for it. The planter will be expensive though. At least $80 from what I saw while shopping yesterday.

In other news, the animals are still fine. I was watering the terrarium yesterday so I took out the begonia. It doesn't like to get water on it's leaves. I put the plant next to Lrrr's tank and he went over and hung out by it. When I took it away he seemed upset, like he wasn't done looking at it. It was very cute. I put the plant back for a few minutes so he could investigate it further.

Bones and Lillibutt are really enjoying the nice weather and the open back doors. They go in and out, and in and out. Bones likes being outside a lot. He's become a darter. We have to watch him closely when we open outside doors. I'd really like to build a cat enclosure outside so they can enjoy the sun but still be safe.

I need to get ready for the day. You know, since the day's half over already. :-)

I took all my plants out today. At some point during the growing season I'd like to get individual pictures of them all and put the important care information with the pictures in some sort of database.











Bones and DH watching the game together.



Here's the new door yesterday.




DH cleaned part of the garage while I worked on painting the rest of the plant shelf parts. I have 3 coats total left to paint. We're eating right now. My spray paining muscles are very tired. I hope they recover soon!

So it turns out, the reason we've been having management enimas for three weeks is because they were trying to find out why jobs aren't getting done in the right order. It took them three weeks to figure out that its because nobody bothers to tell us what the right order is. If they had simply communicated any of this to us we could have avoided the whole mess. They seem to think that they know everything and we know nothing, even though we're the ones who do the job. I know that happens in just about every company but it still irks me. They just about destroyed all the teamwork that the three of us had. But on Friday after work we had a bindery meeting and talked about everything for about 45 minutes. We are determined to keep our team mentality because we had a really good thing going. The only thing we were missing is information on which jobs were needed first. Now that we have a trial system in place, we think we can do what we were doing before but with more efficiency. As long as we're allowed to. Management has tried to change the way we do just about everything in the recent weeks. Hopefully with a united front we can convince them that we aren't monkeys or idiots and we actually know how to do the job we're paid to do.

I hope that paragraph doesn't ever come back and get me fired. I am much calmer about the whole situation now than I was this week. I still think this is a good company and I enjoy my job and care about the family. I just wish they would communicate with us.

In other news, I took the plants outside today. It occured to me that I should have taken them out several days ago but I didn't realize the weather was going to be this nice for this long. I opened both the back doors and it was awesome. The cats explored outside for a long time. I wish I had the energy to build them an outdoor enclosure so they could play outside but not get out of the backyard.

I do have much more energy now. I took the dog for 2 walks this week. I would have walked every evening but I was only home before dark two nights. This new vitamin regimin is working wonders. Now I just have to build my stamina back up. It is still a struggle to stay on top of the depression but I'm gradually getting stronger. Even though I'm getting vitamin D in pill form, the nice weather does great things for my disposition. Also I got some liver detox tea. It is from a tea company that I trust so I'm not worried about the new (to me) herbs. They are all well known herbs and there is a lot of evidence to support that they help the liver flush toxins better. I also got another bottle of the probiotics that I took a while back. They worked nicely and I've been feeling the need for another round. I figured a probiotic stint and a liver detox stint would go well together.

I'm considering a more radical approach to weight loss. I keep creeping up and I can't seem to stop it. I eat as healthily as I ever have. I don't overeat except when I've cut back too much and I feel like I'm going to starve to death if I don't gorge myself. I can't handle being hungry. My brain and body shut down. It is literally like I have two choices: eat, or be unconsious. If I can find a safe appetite supressant I think it would help a lot. I have toyed with the idea of doing the hCG diet. I already pretty much eat that way anyway. Now would be the perfect time, since I have no stamina and you're not supposed to excersize until the hormone part of the diet is over. DH is about ready to go another round and it would be a lot easier if we did it together. He was initially really upset about me doing it, but I asked him if he had any side effects. He didn't. So once he thought about his experience on the diet he was less opposed to it. The liver and colon cleansing would be much easier if I were also on the hCG diet. Less food moving through the system allows it to focus on healing and detoxification rather than digestion. We'll have to see.

I got an email from DH's grandmother today. I am to expect a suprise in the mail sometime around the 27th. I don't usually like suprises but I'm really excited about this one! I don't know what it is but it might either be pottery or something for my garden. Yeee! I can't wait!

Lrrr is still doing well. He swims and eats and swims some more. He is curious about things that go on within his view. He seems to like visits from Bones. Although I think Bones forgets he's there most of the time. It is about time to do his first tank cleaning. I need to get up in the attic and find the fish vacuum. It vacuums the gravel, not the fish. You know, just in case you were concerned.

Bones is in another growth spurt. He's 4 months old now. Everything he does is still absolutely adorable. He spread ringworm to Lillibutt so I have to cream her every night too. Bones and Tuvok are recovering now so that's nice. Ringworm is the pits. It is making Lilly very grumpy. I would be grumpy too if my face itched all over.

I found peduncles on my Krimson Princess and pubicalyx Hoyas this week. That was exciting. Royal Flush has a "flush" (heheh, get it) of blooms. It smells really nice. Most of my hoyas have new growth on them. The only other buds are on my Lenten Rose and some of the daffodils out front. I am so glad spring is almost here!

DH is out playing with his guy friends. I took the opportunity to watch massive amounts of television and to finish the baby blanket I was working on.




Last night we had friends over for potato soup. We showed Lrrr a mirror. He couldn't decide whether to puff up or run away. It was very cute. He was a little jumpy for a while after that. Poor little fishy! His gill growth isn't going away and his health is still the same. So I guess it's just a thing. I suppose if he ever runs away I can use it to ID him. Heh! LOST: Betta. Name: Lrrr, Ruler of Planet Omicron Persei 8. Responds to: Freeze-dried blood worms, mirrors. Reward: cookies.

He seems to have made friends with bones.






Isn't it funny how cats have different toy preferences? Some cats like milk rings, others like paper wads. One of Froggi's requires sparkly fuzzy balls of one specific size. Bones has a thing for lids and caps. He loves them. He steals them. It is hard to get a picture of him because as soon as I remove the lens cap he stops whatever cute thing I was going to get a picture of and steals the lens cap.

I'm going to peruse the afghan books for a new project.

I was a girl this evening. I mean, technically, I'm a girl all the time. But usually I don't really act like it. Tonight we had to go to the mall to get DH's suit and to get the other suit fitted. DH let me browse all I wanted. I kept trying to apologise for taking up so much time but he insisted it was ok. I dicsovered that this winter I was supposed to be wearing sweater dresses everywhere. They are all on sale now. I found several cute ones but I didn't buy any. I'd have to have a much smaller spare tire to feel comfortable in one of those! There were some cute shirts in other stores. I found a really fun party top. I don't party; didn't buy that one. It would look really cute under a blazer though... But anyway, I ended up getting 2 pairs of shoes. They originally were $109 and $50 and I got them for $33 and $15. Score!


I've just decided: my Betta's name is Lrrr. It is from Futurama. Lrrr is the ruler of planet Omicron Persei 8. He's one of my favorite characters from that show. I'm supposed to keep with the Star Trek theme for the animals but Lrrr fits this betta really well.

Tomorrow is Friday. One of my bosses lost his father unexpectedly and the funeral is tomorrow. I really liked his dad and I kinda want to go to the funeral but I don't think it's appropriate. My boss is being wierd lately and especially wierd about this and I don't want to upset him. I think only the rest of the family is going. There is something going on among the owner family. The last few weeks have been strange. They've all been upset and on edge. I wish I knew more about what was going on so I could do better to avoid upsetting them. I hope whatever it is resolves quickly. I kinda care about the family and I don't like seeing them upset, plus it makes my job harder when they're in bad moods.

I think I'm going to go to bed early. That sounds nice! Good night!

Another Snow Day

I had fun making this birthday cookie cake.



The storm wasn't as bad as predicted but we still got about 4-5 inches of snow and I decided to not brave the slick and hazardous roads.

Last Saturday I was about to do all those things I talked about and then Froggi called to go shopping. I didn't get home until 7 and we didn't even go to all the places we wanted! I got some awesome yarn from The Gourmet Yarn Co. and some great clothes from Rue21. We're a little too old for most of their stuff but it'a hard to resist a gorgeous long cowlneck sweater for $3. I also got a cami for wearing under tshirts for $3 and some rain boot liners. They are awesome!

We spent a long time in HobbyLobby. She has a great idea for jewelry storage involving a hinged shadow box.

On Sunday I went to PetsMart and got a Betta for my tank. He's got some sort of gill thing going on but I think it's from getting too much ammonia from living in his cup. He's acting like a normal healthy betta. He doesn't have a name yet but I'm brainstorming. :-) He lives right next to my computer. He likes his food but he LOVES freeze dried bloodworms! He's pretty calm but very curious about things. I cleaned the outside of the tank for the pictures but I guess it wasn't good enough. Oh well, you can ignore the streaks.





DH and I got the bar cleaned off and got all the computer stuff plugged in behind the refrigerator. The whole area looks much nicer. I've already got some piles building back up!

Saturday night I had this unsettling feeling that I might have gotten knocked up. We got a test and it was negative but later that night I couldn't sleep and more research suggested it may have been too early to test. Sunday was a stressful day. Monday was a difficult day too but my friend at work let me talk to her and cry on her shoulder. Mom was also really supportive. DH called a nurse and she said that everything I was experiencing was very common when you have a wierd change in hormones while on the pill (I think I had accidentally skipped a day on Thursday). She said that I could take another test that evening and it would be pretty accurate. It was also negative. Whew! I do not want to be pregnant. All my unsettling symptoms have faded now too.

I/We have several reasons for not wanting to reproduce. Each of DH's sperm carry the gene for retinoblastoma (retina cancer). I have a 41% chance of breast cancer alone, plus a very significant risk of thyroid cancer and a moderate to high risk of ovarian cancer. Our whole family suffers from depression and it is from the way our brains work. I have been this way since birth.

DH and I are very uncomfortable around children. We are easily annoyed by their energy and attention-seeking. People always say that your own children are different but they fail to realize that your children don't live in a bubble. They have friends. I really feel that DH and I have too much trouble with anger/temper to be good parents. The anger I feel when children are annoying is very difficult to control.

Being a mother is not something I have ever wanted to do. Ever since I realized I had a choice (12 or 13) I chose no. Everyone thinks I'll change my mind. My gynecologist won't let me do any permanent birth control until I'm at least 30. When I thought I was pregnant I was in a complete panic. I don't think that's the kind of thing that indicates a mind-change. Mom said that she didn't want kids either, like me, but as soon as she suspected I existed she started to want me. I suspected for 3 days and there was absolutely no wanting.

I really respect people who are parents. I'm glad they exist because if everyone was like me, the human race would die out. I even think I might like to help others become parents (surrogacy) someday. It makes me so upset when people want children so badly but can't have them. If you can't be fulfilled without children, I really think you ought to have children. If you don't want to have children, I don't think you should be pressured into having them. Everyone's American Dream is different. My white picket fence, 2.5 kids, and a dog looks more like an acreage, 25 animals, plus a dog.

But anyway. Enough of that soap box.

I'm having edamame. It is yummy! I'm about to go clean off the driveway so I can go to work tomorrow. Then I might crochet some. I started a baby blanket for my friend with the yarn I got on Saturday. It is like one big granny square. I can just keep going until I run out of yarn and that is nice.

Ok, off to shovel.

Sunny Day

The sun is out today and I feel better about things. There are sparrows and juncos eating the birdseed on my back porch and the cats and I like to watch them out of our new back door.

My goals for the weekend include (but are not limited to) painting the saucers that go with DH's plant pots, working on/finishing the scarf I started last week, visiting Hobby Lobby and Petsmart, clean off the bar area, wash the drywall mud off the ceiling.

See, when we moved into our house there was a box above the bar. Someone decided in the 1970's that it would be a good idea to cut off the view to and from the kitchen and so installed a completely useless box above the bar. We removed it when we moved in but never got around to washing off the mud. The popcorn ceiling is painted so it won't take much effort. We just don't look up at the ceiling that often and we forget.

Here's the kitchen as we bought it.


Here is is today. notice the drywall mud on the ceiling, the new pretty back door, the complete change in decor, and the mess on the bar that I need to clean.



I also want to read more in my book about the immune system. Froggi let me borrow one of her favorite immunology textbooks. So far it is very interesting and easy to understand. I am such a nerd that I read textbooks!

Did I do a final review of that other book I was reading? Well, I just have a few pages left and then I'll do a separate final review. It is a free book on gutenberg.org.

I'm going to finish that book now I think. Or maybe bake something. Or maybe finish the book and then write a review while I bake something. :-)

I am feeling so much happier today! Is it the sun, or Saturday, or a great evening with friends, or my new supplements? I don't know but I'll take it!

So my blood sugar is pretty normal, my vitamin D levels are normal, and I don't have HIV (not really sure why they tested that; no risk factors whatsoever). I guess now I just wait for the endocrinologist to call and tell me when that appointment is.

Oh, my new vitamins came today. DH and I spent a few minutes getting my pill thing organized. I'm going to take some in the morning and some in the evening. I'm taking all my energy pills in the morning and all my cell-rebuilding pills in the evening. 22 in all. But if it works, it's worth it.

Today was a rough day. We had "help". I don't want to say anything bad about my workplace or anything because it really is a nice place to work. But sometimes it is better to let your people do their jobs instead of hovering over their shoulder asking why they're doing it that way and generally getting on everyone's nerves. *deep breath*

Also the depression was raging today. I feel like I'm in a holding pattern in life. I have always been careful to make the right decisions. I do the right thing and make the correct choice. Many people say they wish they had been more like me when they were growing up. Well, it hasn't made a hill of beans' worth of difference. If you measure life by happiness or fulfillment, well, I don't have those things. There are things I want to do that I think would make me happy and fulfilled but they are bad choices. They are wrong by just about everyone's standards. So I will not do them. But it makes me depressed. Instead of doing those things I would like to crawl in a hole and just stay there for a while. Can't do that either. I have to keep plodding along and wait for something to change.

~~~~~

We went to dinner with Dave and Froggi and Froggi's Mom at The Wedge Pizzeria. It was lots of fun. The pizza was excellent. Spending time with friends was good and made me feel better about life. I have good friends.

But now I can't sleep. 3AM. Been awake since about 2. Sigh.

Snowed In

We're still stuck in the house. I'm going to try and shovel the driveway after lunch. Not looking forward to it. But they'll probably expect me at work tomorrow.

Everyone on facebook is complaining of cabin fever. I am showing no signs whatsoever. There are still a million things I can do around here. For instance, I just put some brownies in the oven. In a minute I'm going to put some chicken in the crock pot. We're going to have chicken and dumplings for dinner. Yum!

Last night I repotted some plants. The dead of winter isn't really a good time for that but some of them were desperate. Aloes should not be in soggy soil! I rearranged the plant shelf too. The things that need more water are in spots that are easier to get to with water.

Ugh. I really don't want to shovel!

Blizzard

I drank my breakfast at 6:30 and have had nothing to eat since. I tried to test my sugar like a billion times but it was hard to get enough blood besause (1)my skin is too thick and (2)I'm too cold so all my capillaries shrunk. I did finally get a result of 89 and then about 10 minutes later 77. The instructions say below 70 is bad. 89 was when I would normally realize I needed to eat and at 77 I'm feeling desperate. I'm eating some clam chowder now. I don't know if it was the right choice but it was a fast choice.

It hurts to type now since my fingers have a million little pricks all over them.

According to the internet I need to test again in 2 hours to see my post meal level. I had a strip of beef jerky just now and I'm about to eat some dessert. Yes I know that will raise my sugar too high. No I don't care. This is how I would normally react to waiting too long to eat so I want to see how my sugar reacts to it. Mmmm- fun size peanut MnM's!

We found a blog called TheLostOgle. It is a satirical and hilarious blog about OKC and the news media. We're both cracking up. They're doing a live comment feed about the news coverage.


Here are my newest plants. Mom will recognise them! I got the begonia last night at Walmart. I had seen it 3 or 4 times already and I just couldn't resist it any more. It was $2.75. The succulent was $4 at the nursery we visited on Saturday.




Bones was really enjoying the heater vent. It's weird how the coldness outside makes it seem colder inside even though the temperature is the same.