The thermometer is lying

The computer says it is 75 outside.  The weather station says it is 73 outside.  I went outside.  It is not in the 70s.  It is in the 90s.  I was immediately sweating.  No wind to speak of either.  Yuck.

I was planning to get up with the animals at 6:00 and do outdoor work but I didn't sleep that well so I slept in.  There's always tomorrow.

This week at work was better after Monday.  Monday I was just so upset about everything and I turned it all onto myself like Chris wanted and I cried all morning.  So then Monday night when I got home DH and I had to fight about my methods and then Mom called because she read the last blog and she was concerned.  So I decided to change my tactics.  Tuesday I tried turning my anger outward.  Instead of feeling contempt for myself, I felt it for Richard.  I was civil, but I didn't interact voluntarily.  It worked.  I didn't cry even once.  And I didn't get in trouble.  So I kept that up all week and my mood improved each day until I was having trouble being mad.  By Friday I was in such a good mood that I got in trouble again.  One of the drivers wanted to use the cart but it had stuff on it.  So I moved the stuff to the area where it needed to go.  I was supposed to not do that because then no one knows it's there or something?  I feel like giant stacks of paper are kind of hard to miss but I told one of the others that it was there after I was scolded.  The outward facing contempt thing was easier after that!  I also have been asking some of the other bosses if Chris has mentioned anything to them about me.  He hasn't so far but I have one more person to ask before I feel I can ask Chris if he really feels the way he said he feels about me. 

I'm also going back through the book and writing down the key points.

Don't: critisize, interrupt, talk about myself
Do: make others important, give praise at every opportunity, talk about things from the other person's perspective, show interest in others, smile, pretend to be happy, use peoples' names, show concentrated attention, encourage others to talk about themselves.

This is only partway through.  I haven't even gotten to the don't argue part yet and I think that's part 2.

On this list the things I struggle with are the smiling, the happy, and the talking about myself.  There will be more as I get to them.  I think the pretending to be happy part is where I'm getting the most negative consequenses at work.  Many people at work only put forth 50% of effort but they pretend they're happy and nothing bothers them and they get good treatment, promotions, and favorable interactions with Chris.  I give 120% every day but sometimes I get upset with others who don't give a crap and so I'm the problem.

Heh, one day I had to surrepticiously save the day.  Richard folded a mail job and put it over in the mail area.  I knew it had an insert but Richard didn't bother to look at that, or maybe the info wasn't even in the work order.  I don't know which; both happen frequently.  So I motioned Adam over and quietly told him that the job usually has an envelope that we have to put in it before mailing.  He's only been mailer for like 2 weeks so he had no idea.  I told him where to find the envelopes.  Turns out there were two inserts this time.  Once, this job went out without the return envelope and it was a big mess and we had to mail out another letter with the envelope at our cost.  I saved us a lot of money.  But I had to go behind Richard's back so he wouldn't get onto me for meddling.  Too bad I don't believe in Karma.  However, the internal satisfaction is enough for now.  I'm confident that someday I'll come out ahead.

All I really want is for Chris to apologize for saying horrible things to me, aknowledge that I make important contributions to his company,  and to admit that Richard is a jerk.

Pardon, a delusional jerk.  He seriously said last week that he has a good relationship with everyone there.  And he meant it!  He has no idea how his behavior is affecting his life and ours.  Actually, I think that's better though.  It gives him more humanity if he doesn't realize what he's doing.  If he knew and still did it, that would be worse.

Ok, enough of that.  It's the weekend.  This morning I checked the landscape and found a few disappointments and a few successes.  The cardinal vine and the jerusalem artichokes I got from the swap died.  I suspect ammonia poisoning.  They're on the fence between us and the neighbors who have male dogs.  Tuvok and the other dogs frequently engage in territory-defining behaviors.  I'm going to have to only plant established plants there with leaves above urine stream height.  But most of the other plants are doing well and the lantana that I thought I lost when it got trampled by the plumbers has resprouted from the root!  I stopped letting Tuvok out in the front yard when I can't watch him very closely.  So he's stopped spraying the snow hill salvia and it is recovering beautifully and putting out lots of new bloom spikes.  What a great plant!  I should mention that I'm getting paid for saying that... I was pulling weeds around the salvia this morning and I found a $5 bill.  So yeah.  (Ok, I just spent like 15 minutes trying to make a smiley face with this font.  I give up for now.)

Here is a glimpse of the cuteness we must endure on a daily basis.  It is tough, but we manage.

You caught me!

I don't think these pansies are going to survive the summer...