Talk To Me After My Tea

Well, it's now Friday morning. I can't sleep. I tossed and turned and dozed until about 2:30 and I've been playing with photoshop since then. Wednesday was kind of surreal. Even though I was going to be done with those bosses and everything, I still was concerned about the inevitable confrontation. So I wrote a letter and put it on the Area Manager's desk while he was out. I said a quick goodbye to the people I saw on my way out and that was that. Yesterday I slept in. Mid morning my new boss/manager/partner/M called and wanted to have lunch so we could exchange some stuff. So that was fun. She told me about why she picked me over the other guy that applied. He had really good experience and lots of contacts that she could follow up on, but she said it was like pulling teeth to get him to give her any information. I didn't have the experience but she felt I could learn quickly and she knew I'd have a better relationship with her and the clients because I was better socially. I got the job because I have a brilliant personality! Lol! I don't often have a better personality than other people!

I passed the physical but we're still waiting on the drug test for some reason. I didn't take any drugs so I don't know what's taking so long. We're also still waiting on the handbook. That's supposed to get here this afternoon and I can go pick it up and look over it this weekend. Saturday I do the defensive driving class and hopefully I'll actually start working Monday or Tuesday.

After lunch I went to my favorite plant nursery since I was in the area. There were lots of neat things but I don't have places or money for them right now. Someday I want a witch hazel tree. They are so cool. I was tired when I got home but I puttered around a little, ran the dishwasher, etc. Then DH called and wanted to come home to get some work done. I guess people were hassling him too much at the office. He had me call old work to see if my last checks were ready. They were. He was very sweet and went in with me because I was still nervous about the confrontation and awkwardness. I can never prepare fully for what those situations bring and I clam up and it is just a bad deal. But DH reminded me that it is because of my disability and it isn't my fault. He was there to support me just like I'm there to drive him around because he can't see. The Good Lord knew I was freaking out because there was a guy there picking up an order and he had a sweet little chihuahua with him. I got to love on the dog and it calmed me down. The Area Manager came out with my checks and all he said was, "I wish you'd have said something sooner." I said I couldn't risk being fired and turned around and left. I don't know if he was talking about the disability or the lack of notice of quitting but the response worked either way. With the way they've treated me over the last year, I had no way of knowing they wouldn't can me on the spot when they found out I was "disabled". If you can't treat a person with dignity before you know why they act different than you, you're probably not going to treat them better afterwards. Humans are either nice to other people or they're not. Sometimes they can pretend for a while but sooner or later the true nature reveals itself.

So anyway, as soon as we pulled out of the parking lot I broke down and let out all the stress that had been building up inside. DH was so sweet and just let me cry a little. He tried to find something to say to make me feel better but I let him know that just being there was plenty. There were only a few tears and I was done. By the time I got home I felt lighter than I have in ages. DH noticed it.

So my brain has been full of possibilities since then and I couln't sleep. I started some more seeds, looked for shelf brackets online, thought about the garden and the decorating and all the happy things that I just couldn't get interested in before. DH got up at 5 to work some more and sent me to Starbucks for breakfast. Yum!

So DH's job is really going well. All the cops and other DA's and other agencies all respect him and want him to work on their projects. He's got several really cool things going on. So that's why he's been saying that Everything's Coming up Motsy. He kept asking me if I felt that way too, and now I do.

Everything really is coming up Motsy. :-)

Here are some pictures.