The storm wasn't as bad as predicted but we still got about 4-5 inches of snow and I decided to not brave the slick and hazardous roads.
Last Saturday I was about to do all those things I talked about and then Froggi called to go shopping. I didn't get home until 7 and we didn't even go to all the places we wanted! I got some awesome yarn from The Gourmet Yarn Co. and some great clothes from Rue21. We're a little too old for most of their stuff but it'a hard to resist a gorgeous long cowlneck sweater for $3. I also got a cami for wearing under tshirts for $3 and some rain boot liners. They are awesome!
We spent a long time in HobbyLobby. She has a great idea for jewelry storage involving a hinged shadow box.
On Sunday I went to PetsMart and got a Betta for my tank. He's got some sort of gill thing going on but I think it's from getting too much ammonia from living in his cup. He's acting like a normal healthy betta. He doesn't have a name yet but I'm brainstorming. :-) He lives right next to my computer. He likes his food but he LOVES freeze dried bloodworms! He's pretty calm but very curious about things. I cleaned the outside of the tank for the pictures but I guess it wasn't good enough. Oh well, you can ignore the streaks.
DH and I got the bar cleaned off and got all the computer stuff plugged in behind the refrigerator. The whole area looks much nicer. I've already got some piles building back up!
Saturday night I had this unsettling feeling that I might have gotten knocked up. We got a test and it was negative but later that night I couldn't sleep and more research suggested it may have been too early to test. Sunday was a stressful day. Monday was a difficult day too but my friend at work let me talk to her and cry on her shoulder. Mom was also really supportive. DH called a nurse and she said that everything I was experiencing was very common when you have a wierd change in hormones while on the pill (I think I had accidentally skipped a day on Thursday). She said that I could take another test that evening and it would be pretty accurate. It was also negative. Whew! I do not want to be pregnant. All my unsettling symptoms have faded now too.
I/We have several reasons for not wanting to reproduce. Each of DH's sperm carry the gene for retinoblastoma (retina cancer). I have a 41% chance of breast cancer alone, plus a very significant risk of thyroid cancer and a moderate to high risk of ovarian cancer. Our whole family suffers from depression and it is from the way our brains work. I have been this way since birth.
DH and I are very uncomfortable around children. We are easily annoyed by their energy and attention-seeking. People always say that your own children are different but they fail to realize that your children don't live in a bubble. They have friends. I really feel that DH and I have too much trouble with anger/temper to be good parents. The anger I feel when children are annoying is very difficult to control.
Being a mother is not something I have ever wanted to do. Ever since I realized I had a choice (12 or 13) I chose no. Everyone thinks I'll change my mind. My gynecologist won't let me do any permanent birth control until I'm at least 30. When I thought I was pregnant I was in a complete panic. I don't think that's the kind of thing that indicates a mind-change. Mom said that she didn't want kids either, like me, but as soon as she suspected I existed she started to want me. I suspected for 3 days and there was absolutely no wanting.
I really respect people who are parents. I'm glad they exist because if everyone was like me, the human race would die out. I even think I might like to help others become parents (surrogacy) someday. It makes me so upset when people want children so badly but can't have them. If you can't be fulfilled without children, I really think you ought to have children. If you don't want to have children, I don't think you should be pressured into having them. Everyone's American Dream is different. My white picket fence, 2.5 kids, and a dog looks more like an acreage, 25 animals, plus a dog.
But anyway. Enough of that soap box.
I'm having edamame. It is yummy! I'm about to go clean off the driveway so I can go to work tomorrow. Then I might crochet some. I started a baby blanket for my friend with the yarn I got on Saturday. It is like one big granny square. I can just keep going until I run out of yarn and that is nice.
Ok, off to shovel.
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