Longest Week Ever!

I think maybe what's happening is I'm in a flare-up of Stupid Tired Disease. I was talking with one of my friends who has other friends with similar conditions and she said that when her friends go through stressful periods it really knocks them out and it takes them several weeks to recover. So I guess the stress that started in October, and got really bad at Christmas, caused this flare and I just have to wait it out. I need to remind myself constantly that I'm not always going to feel this way.

I really wish I could blog about the things that caused my stress. They are all really nasty things that don't have easy or obvious solutions. But they are also very private and potentially damaging to others if I share them here. I am able to talk about them with a few people so that helps. I can talk about them with my therapist but she doesn't even have solutions for me. You know it's bad when the pro can't help.

So anyway, all that stuff plus having to come to terms with Stupid Tired Disease is pretty much overpowering my antidepressant. DH said this evening that he thinks anyone in my place would be having the same trouble and that we'll get through it. That really helped. He's doing so well with this. I'm really proud of him.

Bones is playing. When he plays he makes adorable chirps and trills. He's also in that phase where he thinks that he can get away with anything because he's so stinking cute. He's right.

I haven't been sleeping very soundly. I keep waking up from my bad dreams. Last night I took one of my muscle relaxers because my back was spasming all day. It helped but I still hurt today. I wish there was something in between two Alieve and a Tylenol3. Tylenol3 is great for when I can't take the pain but I'm not there and I don't want to over medicate. The Alieve usually does the trick for pain that hasn't made it to that level but it just isn't this week.

I've been eating pretty well this week. I have been eating salads with my popcorn for lunch and having healthy snacks of nuts and fruit. But I still feel rotten. The wierd thing is when I eat sugar I perk right up. I can't lose weight by eating sugar!!!! Grr. I guess I need more time to figure this out.

This afternoon I was the only one in bindery. Both the guys were sick. I discovered that I knew more about the booklet maker than I thought I did. I set up and ran two jobs by myself with just a couple of questions.

I wish I wasn't so profoundly tired. Things need to be done but I feel overwhelmed. I want to be angry but even that takes too much energy. I just want to not 'be' for a while.