Overdid it!

Monday was a bad day. I overdid it on Sunday. I went to the doctor and I even cried for her because I felt so bad and I'm just so frustrated. But she is awesome and doesn't think I'm making it up. She took 8 vials of blood to test for practically everything. We should get the results next week.

After work I just rested. Today was much better! I feel pretty good. I'm even BAKING!!! I'm making a double batch of pumpkin/chocolate chip muffins.

Tomorrow is going to be a really long day. I still feel guilty for being gone this coming weekend. DH has to go to work super early tomorrow anyway so I'll probably get to work about 6:00 and I'll probably stay late.

Bright (well, probably still dark)and early Thursday morning we're taking the train to visit my cousins in Texas. Should be fun. The train has free wifi!

All Hail Vitamin D

I feel awesome today!!

I stayed up until about midnight last night so I didn't get up until 11. We went to the inlaws for lunch and then I went in search of tulips, pansies and kale. I got tulips at TLC but they didn't have any kale and I wasn't impressed with the prices for the pansies. So since I got such awesome stuff at my Lowe's last night I went to their Lowes next. Nothing left. Nothing at Home Depot. So I found a corner lanscape/flower place and got pansies and a kale plant there. They only had giant kales so I only got one.

I planted 72 tulips, 12 pansies and a kale at their house, then came home and planted 87 pansies and 8 kale at my house. Plus I moved my big mat of blue spruce sedum.

I am tired now but its a good tired.

Gluten Loading!

So in order to prepare for my blood tests on monday I need to have gluten antibodies in my system, if there are going to be any. Which means I need to eat gluten. Hooray!! Yesterday I had CityBites for lunch. Razzmatazz and a pumpkin cookie. Oh it was yummy!

I felt horrible yesterday morning though. My back was killing me and my muscles didn't want to work. It felt a lot like before and I realized I accidentally had gluten in the crab sticks in my sushi. I was really worried but I figured since I needed to gluten load anyway it would be ok. Also, DH had given me a pretty deep back massage the night before which was why I was so sore. It was a two-Aleive kind of pain. Anyway, after I ate CityBites for lunch and my pain pills kicked in I felt a lot better, even though my brain wasn't up to par. We weren't very busy yesterday which is always a problem. When we aren't busy we don't have to stay focused as much and we make more stupid mistakes.

We had chinese delivery last night for dinner. This morning I'm making breakfast biscuits with sausage, eggs over medium and white cheddar cheese. I feel pretty good!

I sure hope I don't have any gluten problems. I love baking sooooo much! Could the vitamin D really make that much of a difference? I'm still more tired than I want to be but 3 days of wheat hasn't make a signifigant difference. But I was only off of it for 6 days too. I guess we'll see on Monday.
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I went shopping with Froggi. We went to Backwoods, Tuesday Morning, Michaels, Hobby Lobby Target, and Lowe's. And then we went to Santa Fe Cattle Co. for dinner. It was a good afternoon! I am feeling really good today!

Tomorrow I'm going to go plant tulips for my mother-in-law. I hope I feel as good tomorrow as I do today!

Day 6: Gluten Free

Yesterday I felt really good. Almost normal. Or at least what normal was before this last downturn. Today wasn't as good but still better than before the diet and vitamins.

THe cold front came through today. It is cold and blustery outside. If we had a fireplace I'd make a fire and sit and crochet in front of it.

Work looks to be busy for the next couple of weeks. We had several notoriously large and difficult jobs come in within an hour. All due by the end of the month. I predict a Saturday at work. At the very least there's going to be skids and skids of paper to cut. I suppose I should wait to make that decision until Friday.

We're going to Texas over Thanksgiving. We're riding the train. I'm really looking forward to it. I guess that's why I want to go in this Saturday- I won't be there Friday, Saturday, or Sunday after Thanksgiving when all the real work will be there.

Am I too invested in my job? I genuinly want to do my best and help them out as much as I can.

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I took a test on Facebook a while back for the Autism Quotient. It was not really a diagnostic test, just giving an idea of where you score related to Aspies that also took the test. Just now I took it again on another website. I didn't remember my answers to the questions from before but I got the same score: 39 out of 50. Most people without any Aspergers or anything (normal people) score a 16. Most people with Aspergers score about a 32. most people with high functioning Autism score a 44.

Yup. Explains some things.

It doesn't really change anything about my life if I have it or if I don't. I just like knowing more about myself. Understanding myself and how I am the same as and different from others. I've always liked personality tests and "what kind of _____ are you" quizzes. I'm a Rottweiler, btw. I am friendly and loyal but if you mess with my family or friends you're gonna hear from me and it won't be pretty.

When I find out something new about myself it makes me happy. I feel like I'm a puzzle. It is taking my whole life to fit all the pieces of me together. Just recently I put lots of new pieces in at once and it changed the whole image. It was exciting and satisfying and terrifying all at once.

Recently I have put in some pieces about how I relate to other people who claim to be my friends. Did you know that some people can be nice to you while you're there and then not even acknowledge you in another group? I am the same person no matter where I am or who I'm with. I feel the same way about you whether you're there or not. I thought two faced people were the exception but now it seems they may be the rule. How do I tell who is my friend for real and who is lying to me? If you think less of me because of my poor family or my manual labor job or my 35 year old house or my beat up hands, well, I don't want to be friendly to you at all. You aren't worth my time. But no one says those things to my face. People are always friendly to your face. Am I supposed to sleuth around and ask others what you're saying about me behind my back? Am I supposed to trust everyone and just get hurt occasionally? Am I supposed to assume everyone is lying and make them prove their honest intentions before I'm their friend?

I am from the lower class. The working poor. I am in the middle class now but I don't know if I look like it. I don't know how I'm viewed by the upper and middle classes. I don't know if people can tell my status just by looking. Is it because my hands are calloused and my nails aren't pretty? Is it because I don't really bother with makeup unless it's a special occasion? Is it because the clothes I wear? Is it the way I carry myself? Do they have x-ray vision and can tell my legs are white and hairy? Is it my crooked teeth and acne scarred skin? I was taught that people are created equal and I took it at face value. But it seems that others were taught differently.

If I go to a restaraunt and a rich person I know is there, should I say hello or duck my head and ignore them? Would it be an embarrasment to their friends if I tried to act the same way at the restaraunt as I do at work?

My brain is worn out. I'm going to bed.

Day 4: Gluten Free

I upped a bunch of my pills this weekend. More fish oil and multivitamins and calcium. Today I added a vitamin D supplement. I am torn between my scientific background and my desire to feel better already. I should only be adding or removing one thing at a time but I am so desperate.

So either the relatively slow work day, the vitamin D, or the new diet is helping me to feel slightly better today.

Froggi and I went to the health food store yesterday after DH and I went to Sam's and Walmart. I was so depressed. I was fighting off tears all day. Froggi noticed and so when we went over for dinner she had made me gluten free biscuits and nobake cookies, in addition to red beans and rice. Froggi and I don't hug much but she got a hug for that. Chocolate and friends are powerful things.

I got some gluten free baking mix and tonight I made banana muffins. They are pretty good. I am pleasently suprised.

I have been eating things that might have traces of wheat in them, like soy sauce and oatmeal. Really sensitive people can't do that. I should be avoiding those things but I'm not sure I can at this point. I have an appointment with Dr. K (pcp) on the 22nd so either I feel better by then or she can test for antibodies to confirm the gluten sensitivity.

DH came through his surgery just fine. He thinks he's a little nearsighted, on top of his 20/200 noncorrectable vision. So now his glasses will have a prescription in them, instead of being purely for protection. He says everything is much brighter and the milky/hazy sensation is gone.

My parents are coming down today to help me get my landscaping under control. If we had a neighborhood association we'd be kicked out by now. DH has a list and I have a list. We're going to have to work out priorities. :-)

DH bought me a book. Why Do I Still Have Thyroid Symptoms (when all my lab tests are normal) I'm in chapter 4 and so far it is very interesting and promising. The whole point of the book is that doctors typically only test TSH and that doesn't give the whole picture on thyroid function. Especially with Hashimoto's. Also, he's done a lot of research and discovered that treating Hashimoto's as a thyroid disorder doesn't fix the problem. You have to fix the immune system. Recommendation #1: do a two week gluten-free trial. I started that yesterday. Supposedly gluten intolerance is a huge deal among Hashimotos patients. The immune system has a hard time telling the difference between a gluten molecule and a thyroid molecule. So if the immune system is already attacking gluten, from your gluten intolerance, then it'll eventually discover this huge wad of "gluten" up in your neck where your thyroid used to be. So the first thing you do to get your immune system off red alert is to remove as much of the offending substance as possible. After that there's a bunch of specific blood tests to figure out which way the immune system is out of balance and restore the balance. Something about T-helper cells and TH-cytokines and stuff. It's all very technical.

So anyway, this is Day2 gluten free. I feel about the same. I have all the brain and emotional motivation to get up and do lots of stuff but my body says NO. It takes a hurculean effort to get off my butt and walk somewhere. The walking is fine- just the getting up part is too much. We have to clean the kitchen when I'm done blogging. The thought of it makes me want to curl up and cry. And then we have a whole work day planned. I am so sick of feeling this way.

I am really glad I went in to work on Saturday. Monday was insane. Today was better. My back is really tight. It doesn't actually hurt, but it isn't comfortable either. I put my corn bag on it last night and it didn't seem to make much of a difference. The only muscle relaxer I know of that isn't prescription is alcohol. Alcohol makes me dizzy. Being dizzy makes me throw up. So that's not really any better than a prescription muscle relaxer. One half of a Flexeril puts me out of commission for at least 18 hours. I should send the dog to massage school.

My two bindery coworkers and I had a little brainstorming session today about how to make bindery run better. Since no one is in charge, some things have been falling through the cracks. I don't know that we came to any conclusions but at least we're communicating about it. We all like the idea of having meeting-ettes 2-3 times a day to make sure everyone is on track and all the jobs are going like they're supposed to. The production manager comes back from vacation tomorrow so that should help a little. He knows about all the jobs and what happens to them and when they're due and whether they mail or what not. The only problem is he doesn't always tell us. So I'm hoping that if we're more on the ball we'll know what questions to ask him so we can do the jobs quickly and correctly. That's the plan anyway.

I hate standard time. It was dark when I got home from work. The dog wants a walk but it is dark. I can't give him a rawhide because of his allergy food trial. DH is trying to cuddle him. He is not a happy dog. He's about to be less happy when I give him his bath later. I was supposed to do that this weekend, and then yesterday. Tonight he will be washed!

DH's cataract surgery is Thursday. I'm taking off all day. He'll probably be in the hospital most of the day since they're doing general anaesthesia. I need to find things to keep me busy in a waiting room and a recovery room for 12 hours or so. I'm pretty sure the hospital will have wi-fi, so that's good. Maybe I can find some old plant catalogs and plan the work flowerbeds more. The lady that's doing them with me and the CEO both want the beds to look awesome but they have no knowledge of names or care of plants so I can't really have a meaningful discussion with them without a picture of the plant in question. Maybe I can make a notebook or something.

I have several little crochet projects I can work on. Hats and booties and mittens and the like. I just have to get all the projects organized so I take the right yarn.

I can make a list of landscape projects that need to be done for when my family comes to help.

Or maybe I'll take a nap.

Today we got the rest of the front flowerbeds cleaned up. They are ready for mulch. I think next weekend my parents are coming down to help with landscaping. We requested they give us that for Christmas instead of a traditional gift. They were more than happy with it.

Friday was the Block Party. Froggi got my hair to curl! My hair doesn't like to curl so we were both pretty impressed. I didn't have time to do the legos on the shawl but it was ok. The party was pretty fun. My coworkers didn't recognize me at first which is my goal. I don't look like a girl most of the time.




Saturday I went to work for about 6 hours. Hopefully I made Monday a little easier. Then I took a nap and then we went to dinner with DH's parents.

We're having Dave and Froggi over for pork stew tonight. I used potato flakes to thicken the broth. It was my first time to try it and I like it. It doesn't clump. I need to make cornbread here in a minute and then maybe some brownies.

I was hoping to get some houseplant seeds planted this weekend but I'm not sure it's going to happen. I still need to wash the dog this evening.

DH and I had another argument about my energy level. He had wanted to get 3 hours of outside work done this weekend but I petered out after one hour. I think I might try the doctor one more time. I did a thyroid test this week and it was normal. Maybe my primary doctor has some ideas. She's been spot on with everything else. She caught my mono and my hyperthyroid spell. She's always been really receptive to my emotional needs and is really supportive of me- more than doctors usually are. Maybe we can work together to figure out what's going on. I just hope it is something fixable and not chronic fatigue or something nebulous like that.

I got an adapter for the upstairs sink today and now I have the hose attached to it and can water the plants in the plant room. It doesn't quite reach all the way across the room but that's ok. I have a watering can I can fill for the little bit it doesn't get to. I should take a picture of the room. It is kind of comical.