A few months ago I read a wonderful explanation about chronic illness. You can read the Spoon Theory here: http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory-written-by-christine-miserandino/
I don't have lupus or fibromyalgia or anything like that. I do not live with chronic pain and I am very thankful. But I have lived with depression my whole life. If you don't understand how depression can be a physical illness then I am very happy for you because it means you've never been depressed. Depression affects the body as well as the mind.
But anyway, the spoon theory is applicable to me. Even on meds I still have bad days, or bad weeks. And even when I feel good I still don't think I have the stamina of a fully healthy person. The stamina issue really started when I got mono. Mono is very damaging to the body. I'm not sure why, but I can't push myself the way I used to. In short, I have a limited number of spoons.
The last few weeks at work have been very very busy. I have been borrowing spoons and I feel like I'm a week behind. Froggi was wonderful and gave me a great massage on Friday night. We also forked over a bunch of money at Ideal Feet and got me some really great supports and new work shoes. I am really excited about my new shoes/supports. I stand straighter, I feel aligned. Walking takes much less effort. It is actually uncomfortable to slouch. I'm expecting more spoons out of this!
I think this is turning into a complain-type post and I'm sorry. The therapist costs money. Blogging doesn't.
My back hurts. I know I don't have chronic pain but for the last few weeks my back, my leg and my thumb have all been hurting more and more. These are all overuse injuries from the past that are flaring up. Froggi's massage made it to where there were points of pain instead of one giant bone between my shoulders. She worked on some spots I didn't even know were messed up. But she said they were swollen and my skin had a rash. Froggi is the best friend ever. She had to take anatomy for her degree and since she works as a vet, she uses the basic mammalian structure info on a daily basis. She knows where the muscles attach to the spine and what nerves are attached there. She know were my shoulder blades are supposed to be and that the bulges next to them aren't supposed to be there! She knows about lactic acid and that the tingling and burning halfway through means my muscles are finally relaxing enough to give up the extra acid. And all she wants in return is a german chocolate cake. BFF!@!!
My right thigh hurts. It started at my current job (the back spasms started at my desk job). I was talking to my aunt about it who went to college for personal training. She feels that I have a torn muscle. She told me what to do for it and you know what? It comepletely slipped my mind until just now! I missed a great opportunity for two days of intensive healing because my brain is so full of other stuff. Grr..
My thumb started acting up because of repeatedly lifting large stacks of paper. I have tendonitis in my thumb. I have a brace I wear when it hurts but it gets in the way of doing my job. You know, the job that caused the injury. *eye roll*
I'm depressing myself.
My dog is awesome!!! He is so wonderful and loving and cuddly! He makes me smile.
DH has a cataract in his only eye. He needs surgery but it will be much more difficult and risky than a regular surgery because of the damage the cancer did to his eye. We went in and met with the surgeon last week and got some measurements. The cornea machine couldn't recognize his cornea because it's shaped funny. We have to go back in for a laser machine to measure his cornea. Then the surgeon has to sit down and look at all the info and see if she really wants to do the surgery. There's a significant risk of blindness or death. But he's going to go blind from the cataract if he does nothing. Needless to say, DH has had a bad week. He is really depressed and I don't know what to do for him. You'd think my experiences would help me but his case is so different from mine. I don't know what to do. I think getting him outside for a walk would help and also some temporary meds but I don't have what it takes to get him to do stuff he doesn't want to do.
I also love my cat!
Sigh...
I'm going to put heat on my thigh and go to bed.
I know depression. Had a really bad case of it when my daughter was an unruly teenager. Cried a lot. Thought I was losing my mind. Managed to get a handle on it by staying busy, walking, and keeping in touch with friends who were upbeat and happy (also being careful not to drag them down). I've been OK since then but know myself and how to stay on top.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about your DH's eye. I used to work for an ophthalmologist. We did cataract surgery every Wednesday. Doc did a good job and only rarely had a patient that didn't have a good outcome. But things happen. They have to tell you the worst so that if it happens, you can't say, "You didn't tell me!" Most people though, are so glad they've had the surgery and can't get over how great their vision is after.
When my mother found she had bladder cancer, they told her all kinds of things: that she might die, might have to carry around one of those bags, they might not be able to get it all, she might have pain for a long time, etc., etc. She cried every day between that day and the day of her surgery. She did fine. No bag. Some pain and discomfort but not long-term, and she lived her normal life. A stroke took her at the age of 93.
My mother always used to say, "Expect the worst, and when it doesn't happen, you can be pleasantly surprised." I don't agree with that. I say, "Expect the best. If anything less than that happens, deal with it then."
Hugs to you and your DH. --Ilene